


뭐랬어 (What Did I Say?)

by ofreverentia



Series: 10 Stories [7]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Working things out, broken relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 03:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15743613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: Javier spent the long flight from Madrid to Toronto imagining all kinds of scenarios, some of them leaving him near tears. He hoped for a few hours of sleep but his mind kept racing, the movies he picked, as background noise didn’t help him to focus on anything else but Yuzuru and the possible outcome of their future conversation.





	뭐랬어 (What Did I Say?)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: We are picking up where “Vanishing Days” ended, a leap into the unknown for Javier. Yes, we are also switching back to Javier POV :)

Javier spent the long flight from Madrid to Toronto imagining all kinds of scenarios, some of them leaving him near tears. He hoped for a few hours of sleep but his mind kept racing, the movies he picked, as background noise didn’t help him to focus on anything else but Yuzuru and the possible outcome of their future conversation. According to his travel, plans he would arrive mid-day and the younger had training scheduled today. Laura surprisingly knew more about this but he was thankful. It helped him avoid awkward questions towards his ex-coaches. He did message Brian saying he will be coming to Canada but didn’t elaborate on the details, nor did the other ask. His reply was short “I will let the receptionist know.” Since he stopped competing completely he only visited for camps Brian invited him to or he himself took coaching lessons but since the break-up, he didn’t take a step into the club.

Feeling a light tap on his shoulder, pulled from his thoughts he found one of the flight attendants smiling sweetly at him, informing him that they have landed and he could leave the plane. Javier felt a blush tint his cheeks, he didn’t realize the plane landed and most of the seats were already empty. Nodding his head and muttering an apology, he grabbed his backpack and quickly exited the plane. Taking his time towards baggage claim his luggage was already happily circling when he arrived. Javier appreciated it at least he didn’t need to wait for it, stand in place and find himself pacing out again. Grabbing his trusty luggage, he made a beeline to the taxis only to stop at the sound of his name. He nearly gave himself a whiplash at how quickly he turned around, his breath caught in his throat.

“Hi Javi.” Javier blinked once then twice, his mouth opening and closing. He knew he looked like a fish out of water but there stood Yuzuru in casual clothes, waiting for him at the airport instead of being on the ice training, how he was meant to. 

“Hi...” He finally manages to say after long moments, merely breathing out the words, taking a few steps towards Yuzuru, who did the same. They stopped only a foot or two away from each other, staring in each other’s eyes. Javier drank in the others appearance, the slight changes in his features since he had last seen him. Eyes dropped to his lips for a moment, recalling the last time he had kissed them and a small shiver ran down his spine. Yuzuru tilted his head to the side in that adorable questioning way and Javier caved. Releasing his luggage and dropping his backpack next to it he closed the distance between them, enveloping Yuzuru in a warm and tight hug. The younger tensed for a second but then literally melted in his arms, his own circling around the Spaniard, tightening his hold so much Javier couldn’t breathe (it may have been due to other reasons) nevertheless didn’t pull away. Time slipped past them as they stood there embracing each other, neither of them speaking a word, instead let the hug speak for itself.

Yuzuru was the first to retreat but as he did so, his hand came up to cup Javiers cheek, a gentle but still pained expression on his face. They needed to talk about so many things but he felt hopeful. “Come.” And Javier followed, suitcase rolling behind him as he walked with Yuzuru towards the long time parking spots. He raised a brow, thinking that Yumi came with the car but then the other pulled out the keys to a car from his jeans pocket. His confusion and surprise must have been written all over his face because Yuzuru laughed at him, eyes crinkling at the corners. Oh how me missed that smile.

“Got license last summer.” Javier nodded dumbly because he never imagined Yuzuru Hanyu driving but here they were and he must have been lost in his thoughts again because his luggage got deposited in the trunk by the younger and only moved when he heard his name being called. “Javi? You okay?” There was concern written all over the others features and he forced a smile on his face. “I’m sorry, spacing out a lot. Surprised about you driving.” The shoulders of Yuzuru relaxed and he rolled his eyes. “I can even ride a bike now. Get in.” Javier felt his jaw hit the floor. Who was this person in front of him? What else did he miss? Yuzuru appeared to have moved on so much in his life, doing things he had no time for in the past. He wondered if he had place now in this newly constructed life of the other.

\----

The drive was smooth; Yuzuru actually was a good driver, surprising Javier even more. They didn’t talk the silence comfortable even though there was a lot to talk about. Both apparently held back to avoid clashing in a moving car, distracting Yuzuru from driving. It took them about thirty minutes to arrive in a neighborhood Javier was not familiar with. He turned to Yuzuru, raising a brow; this was not the road he was familiar with; though from knowing Toronto from all the years before this was closer to the rink. As if the younger sensed the question, he smiled lightly.

“Moved after Worlds last year. Now live in a small house closer to the rink, can walk from here. Mom moved back to Japan...” He paused to think probably of the time when she did. “July or so, to be with family after so long. Still comes to whenever she can but spends less time in Toronto. License so I can drive myself, moving so I may not need to unless bad weather or winter.” Javier nodded dumbly taking in all the information. Yumi not being present explains all this change but the fact that after so many years of relying on Yumi, Yuzuru made these changes surprises him. Tilts him off balance, as the person next to him appears to be completely someone else. Yuzuru carried himself with more confidence, took matters in his own hand. He didn’t get a lot more time to think then Yuzuru parked in front of a lovely house, getting out of the car once the engine was off and went to grab Javiers bags. Quickly he went to help since they were his after all and when he grabbed the handle they stared at each other for a few moments, seemingly to fight over who gets to pull. Yuzuru rolled his eyes with a small smile, instead of taking the luggage, he lead the way to the front door, unlocking and letting Javier in. 

\----

Javier glanced around the house, curious of how Yuzuru lived, finding traces of a mothers touch. The furniture had a hint of Japanese, a bit of a change compared to the apartment they used to have, giving the impression that Yuzuru would stay here for longer. A bit weird given they lived in a rather impersonal apartment for nearly a decade but now this. Javier had so many questions. The younger deposited Javiers luggage near the door, not bothering with that for now and invited Javier to the living room to sit while he makes them drinks. Any other time he would do that but he was too curious and followed Yuzuru instead, leaning against the counter. The younger male didn’t comment only smiles softly, turning on the kettle picking his tea out, then to Javiers surprise switched on a coffee machine.

“You have a coffee machine... you do not drink coffee.” Javier found himself saying, earning a laugh from Yuzuru.  


“Guests do, friends do. Javi drinks coffee.” At the last words his heart skipped a beat, words stuck in his throat.  


\----

With their warm beverages, they settled onto the couch, sitting close but not close enough to touch. Javier took a sip from his coffee, humming in appreciation. With the lack of sleep on the plane, he truly needed a good dose of caffeine. Silence settled over them but not uncomfortable, Javier took these moments to collect his thoughts. Placing his cup down on the coffee table, he inhaled and slightly turned towards Yuzuru to look at him. The younger had the cup to his lips drinking slowly but he felt the shift in the air and put it in his lap, long fingers curled around the porcelain. 

“Yuzu...” Javier started and the other looked at him, a slightly guarded expression on his face. He hated himself from having put something like that there. “I am sorry.” He whispered and then reached towards him, Yuzuru offering him one hand, cup moved to the coffee table. The touch grounded him enough to continue. “I know we haven’t been the best towards each other and I am not blaming you for everything that happened. I think we both made a fair share of mistakes.” Yuzuru visibly swallowed at that, biting down on his lower lip but nodded in confirmation, keeping his mouth shut to let Javier speak whatever he had to say. 

“I was never good with long distance relationships. In that sense, our timing for getting together truly messed up but I should have tried better. I knew how I could become but I still let things slip between us. I knew you and with you competing I did not expect the seasons to go any differently but it still hurt me.” Yuzuru opened his mouth to say something but Javier raised his free hand to stop him “Skating is important to you, it has been your number one priority for so long and I walked into the relationship with you knowing it wouldn’t change until you retire. I was aware of it. You had so much still in you after Pyeongchang, still do and at one point, I felt I couldn’t be the reason to hold you back. With me needing more than text messages, Skype calls at wee hours of the day, a few meetings a year... I was hurting because I wanted to give you the space and support you needed to compete, ignoring my need for the affection of a relationship.” Javier let out a long breath before he continued.

“The past year, since our break-up I tried to get my life under control. I admit there were some dates but I never could go further than a polite dinner. I was stuck on you, how bad things went and how we didn’t speak about it. So many open questions, broken promises. I couldn’t move on even if I wanted to because I realized how you would forever hold my heart. I love you Yuzuru. I always have and always will. I am sorry I hurt you and I have no idea if I still have room in your new life. I mean look around... you have changed so much since we broke up and I would understand if there is no hope for us but if that is the case I need to know. Get closure. Alas if you would let me...I would do much better, if you give us another chance and you maybe still have feelings for me...” His voice broke and he had to close his eyes for a moment, his emotions started to bubble over. 

“Do you think we have a chance to mend whatever broke? Back in the summer, we got together. When I asked you to be with me forever, I didn’t say those words lightheartedly. I meant them and if you would still give me another chance...” Remembering the moment he went down on one knee and asked Yuzuru to marry him, gave him a ring, the tears finally broke free, gaze falling to the ground. Javier made so many mistakes since then, forgetting the most important thing - how much he loved Yuzuru and couldn’t imagine a future without him. Feeling a feather-light touch to his cheek, he dared to raise his head to look in the equally teary eyes of Yuzuru. The younger brushed away the tears from his cheeks, looking at Javier with an expression he couldn’t quite place, something he hadn’t seen before. He let out a chocked sob.  


**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Who else forgot that they were actually engaged before all the shit went down? :P When you love someone that titles are unimportant. ;)  
> Also wow this got a bit out of hand in length before we even got to the actual talk part.. Oops? And then Javi went on his rant... next will be "Mirror" and we shall hear what Yuzuru thinks and feels!


End file.
